Spacechimp (First draft)

W.A.L.T: 

write a narrative 

Success Criteria

I know I will be successful when….

• The title is suitable for the text.

• The orientation tells who the story is about, and when and where the story happened.
• The complication describes a problem and explains what happened next.
• The resolution explains how the problem was solved.
• Seeks feedback and makes changes to texts to improve clarity and meaning.

First draft

	Punctuation	Vocabulary
Self	R4	R4
Peer	R4	R4

In Ako Nghtahi we had to write a narrative about a video It was about a chimpanzee going into space for 65 years. My punctuation a vocabulary are in red here is the video space chimp my story hope you enjoy.

space chimp video

It's 1961 in America, and there I was sitting in a rocket ship.  I thought to myself that I am about to go into space for my whole life. 5 4 3 2 1 boom! The rocket is going to launch. My heart's thumping like a hammer.

This was not supposed to happen, I should be in the jungle with my family, but I am stuck here well I guess I went to space because I was being naughty but that's not all, they are also doing  a experiment on me.

I am in space I’m getting lightheaded I am going into deep deep sleep.

I woke up it's been 65 years now and it is 2026. The sun shining at my face and I opened my eyes and I have survived. So anyways my name is Jim, I’m a space chimp.

The galaxies is bright pink, dark blue, purple and dazzling white stars glowing into my eyes.

I reached my hand out to earth and I came closer and closer I am about to land. I close my eyes and I keep relaxed because it was really bumpy then I realize I hit
terra firma!!!!

I got out of my seat and I come outside and there was trees lifeless as mars it's just looks like a wasteland . I don’t even see any people around  I have checked in shops and in houses where there was no windows I mean who demolished this place anyways?

I was walking around the place and I was screaming help help!!! but I was also thinking that something is suspicious I see someone walking everywhere I was trying to catch up to him but then I did I said to him

“why isn't anyone here?”

“well hi I am jack it’s nice to meet you no one is here because we are running out of food to eat  and they died because of that”

“but how come you're still alive?”

“because I just came to this country 1 month ago”

10 years later I tried to find Jack but I couldn’t so it just me I tried to go in shops to see if there was any food but there wasn’t. So I sat down on the wet ground and I said to myself just to live life to the fullest I started to lay on the ground and  get lightheaded and that was the end of me.